Are Zombies Attracted to Second Hand Smoke?

Posted: Aug. 23rd. 2013 Are the Undead Attracted To Second Hand Smoke? Posted August 23rd, 2013 ZWN (AP) Ahsis, Briitish Columbia In the remote Canadian town of Ahsis, British Columbia, there has been an unusually high amount of reported zombie attacks. With a population of only 562, almost everyone in the town knows someone who has either been attacked by or turned into, a reanimate. However, there is one facet in particular that has scientists studying this small town. That is the realization that almost all of those attacked were habitual smokers. Darrel Drake, a 48 year old resident of Ahsis, was well aware that there had been reports of undead activity in the region. He and a neighbor helped capture a female undead only the week before. Local police advised them to remain vigilant because there was also a police report of at least one more roaming female zombie and an undead child. They knew the procedure. All night lights out in any unused parts of the house. No loud noises such as TV or music. No cooking of meats unless all windows were closed. Anything that might attract a zombie had to be considered. All children and pets had to remain indoors. However, Drake was a habitual smoker. 20 a day as a rule. His wife, Jennifer did not allow smoking in the house. And so despite all warnings, Drake would venture outside into the garden and sit under his favorite tree. No lights. No sound. But he would light up.  He was fatally mauled by the adult reanimate assailant, who authorities were tracking on July 27th. So savage were his injuries that he didn't reanimate. His upper torso, head and brains were almost entirely consumed. Studyshows connection The reason this incident caught the attention of the media is that it ties in with a recent study by the the New England Journal of Advanced Necro-Mortosis studies. In that report, it summized that undead people who were habitual smokers in their former lives, tended to be attracted to the smell of cigarette smoke. A prior sense memory that remains in their atrophied brain, still recognizes the habit and perhaps is even still addicted to the lure of smoking Nicotine. The female reanimate whom fatally attacked Darrel Drake was later captured and re killed. Her body was autopsied and it was found that she was a habitual smoker in her former life. In fact, 75% of all reported zombie attacks in Ahsis have been on people who were smoking at the time. All undead assailants captured were confirmed as being smokers in their former lives. A spokesperson for the Tobacco industry denied the validity of the study. She suggested that further studies were needed and the tobacco industry was funding its own private report to be released later in the year.